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you were
so little
tiny
at nearly two
two of you
there were, identical
the same size, shape
but wildly different spirits
your sister playing with my mom
and you, curious, wandering in the garden
my parents' garden
rank with flora, flourishing
all kinds of life, growing lush
i was in the kitchen
i saw you reach down
and pick up something
always curious
and put it
testingly
into your mouth
out i rushed
surely it's ok, it's nothing
it was a Mushroom
agony of fear
i snatched your tiny form
in my arms
so light you were
in your yellow dress
"what do we do
She's eaten a mushroom"
i cried, my mother was
calm, ignorant, answerless
we called poison control
give her ipecac
do you have any ipecac
yes we do i hope, hope hope
i don't know if we do said my mother
i can go to the store
i found it in the bathroom
a small brown bottle
ipecac
how do i do it?
make her take a spoonful
the calm telephone voice said
force it down her
you didn't understand
but i held you over the sink
my body shaking in a storm
of nerves
and forced it down you
with a big shaking spoon, bigger
than your face almost
and now make her drink a lot of water
what! you can't make
a little child this size
do anything
much less when she's terrified
do you have a turkey baster
yes of course
here it is
a giant thing
pale plastic
as long as your arm
we filled it with water
and squirt and squirt and squirt
down your little throat
terribly annoyed
resisting and choking to no avail
some went in anyway
now make her throw up
and you did
things came out
unidentifiable
but enough, it must be enough
now what
be sure and keep some of the mushroom
and take her to the emergency room
so we found the dead fleshy brown thing
in the garden where you dropped it
put it in a baggie
and went down in the car
seven miles
to the emergency room
but i'm sure we got it all
i will it, it has to be
this baby cannot die
force myself calm
i held you comforting
keeping the life
in your little curious
body
earnest as always
in the emergency room
we waited
while they explained
they couldn't do anything
but test the mushroom
so we went home
and finally
the word came
it
was
harmless
just a harmless
piece of curious
biology
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